Hello, My Name Is Child of the One True King

Life hasn't *exactly* turned out the way I had expected it to.  In fact, life hasn't turned out even remotely how I might have ever imagined.  I think I may have covered that very fact about a year ago.  God had started working on me then, and he brought me to this place.  Unfortunately I think it's fair to say that I let my reality get the better of me over the last year rather than using it to draw near to him.  A frequent thought that overwhelmed my mind, particularly in the later months of 2013, was "it just doesn't matter."  I found myself so isolated from any community I had ever had in my life that I was able to exist with no accountability whatsoever and I couldn't figure out how I had gotten to that point. 

For so long I had lived with purpose and with drive.  I had passion that consumed me with a desire to serve this great God that had redeemed my desolate heart and I ached for others to know that same redemption.  I was willing to go anywhere, to do anything, and to love whomever God placed in my path.  And during all that time, I felt as though I experienced God in such tangible ways.  There are so many instances in my life when I remember vividly knowing what God had for me, understanding God's direction and will through my time in His word and in prayer.  I made bold moves across the country without a second thought knowing and trusting that God was leading the way and had a plan.  And each time he remained faithful.

I don't believe the time spent between point A and point B is that important to drudge through, but suffice it to say that my heart had been hardened to God.  I still believed to the depths of my soul, but I was angry, frustrated and disappointed.  I had unmet expectations and God wasn't bending to my every whim.  But God is patient with us.  And persistent.  He brought me to this place.  He stripped me naked of everything I knew to be true of myself and everything I was finding my identity in.  I honestly can't tell you a specific course of events or point you to the time when he won me over, but God has wooed me back to himself and for the first time in a lot of years, I feel like myself again.  

And it feels good.